Those Three Little Words

Sometimes dreaded. Sometimes exciting. Sometimes tearful. Sometimes casual. But when they are said sincerely, they are the most powerful words a person can speak.

No, I’m not talking about the words “you’re not fat” although I will say those words can be pretty powerful. I’m talking about the best words you can hear when you tuck your kids into bed or lie down to fall asleep next to your spouse: “I love you.” Three words that can begin the healing of a broken heart or help someone sleep peacefully at night. Words that can dry a toddler’s tears or kiss away a boo-boo. Words that can give a person confidence in the face of an uncertain situation. Words that can heal. Sometimes the only words that need to be said to a loved one who grieves. A gift from God and something that should be spoken as often as you can.

Over the past year or so, I’ve thought about those words more than I have perhaps in my entire life. In general, I guess it’s normal to not really think about love other than to know that there are people in your life that you love and those that you would rather do without. This post is about the people in the former category.

This is not a George Bailey isn’t-life-spectacular kind of post, although I kind of wish it were. This is actually a post about what’s happened since I decided to start telling people that I love that I love them. Not in an awkward way that makes it uncomfortable for anyone. Not as the weirdo who tells their next-door neighbors or co-workers that she loves them. I’m talking about family and best friends, people who should already know this, but perhaps whom I haven’t told often enough or even at all.

You see, I realized that someday will be the last day I will able to say it, so I may as well say it now. It would be nice if I could say that when I started saying it or messaging it to people at the end of a text conversation or an email, they expressed the same in return and then start using those same words more freely with other people that they love if they haven’t been doing that already. But what I found was rather the opposite. People either said or messaged it back in a very off-handed way or they didn’t say it back at all. For real. This is what happened.

I remember hugging members of my own family this past Christmas and saying I love you to them. In return, crickets. Did it bother me? Of course it did. But I never voiced that because it’s not up to me to force someone to express love back to me, and I’ll never do that.

I’ve thought about what the issue is about these three little words ever since I noticed that people don’t seem to speak them very freely. I don’t know why that is. Is it the society that we live in today? Do people feel weird telling someone that they love them? Or do they not feel that they love them at all so they don’t want to say it? Will they regret that decision if they never see that person again? Will they even remember that they never told them that they loved them? Are those words reserved for just the core members of their families: spouse and children?

Yesterday I texted my husband while I was walking back from grabbing something to eat in the caf. I simply wrote: “I love you.” A few moments later, he wrote back, “I love you, too.” I smiled. And then I texted him back: “You’re one of the only people who says it back.”

My point is not to try to make people feel bad but to make people think. I went a long time myself not really wanting to say it. And it’s a little hurtful when people don’t say it back. But I suppose I can’t let that stop me from telling the people that I love that I love them.

Love to you all.

-Kelly

Book Review: The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
*****

Well, this was an interesting book. It was so simple it was brilliant, kind of the way a lot of people viewed Forrest Gump. The book is set up in such a way that the main character, Charlie, is writing letters to an unknown recipient throughout the entire book. That's all it is. Letters, detailing what's going on in Charlie's world and what he thinks about it.

It centers around his friend Patrick, who is gay, and Sam, the girl he is in love with throughout the duration of the book. There are also a lot of letters about his family and Mary Elizabeth, a girl he dates briefly who likes him a lot more than he likes her.

It's obvious from close to the beginning of the book that there's something a little "off" about Charlie, but you can't really tell what it is. He does talk about the death of his aunt, which had a profound effect on him, but I'm not sure that accounts for what it is about him that seems so odd. Several times he is referred to as a "freak" in this novel but he doesn't seem to take offense to it. At times he appears to have a below average intelligence, but then he will write something so simple yet so brilliant and insightful that you have to wonder if he could possibly be below average. At one point, a teacher of his tells him that he is bright and brilliant, but the mere fact that he needs to be told this suggests that he doesn't recognize it himself and therefore, something is missing.

I could have chalked it up to a below average emotional intellect like a lot of geniuses have. But I don't think Charlie was a genius. And even though he didn't know how to handle a lot of things emotionally and he cried a lot, he also had some very deep emotional thoughts and actions so that didn't make sense either.

Toward the end of the book, I almost started thinking he was just a normal kid, but then something happens in the end that tells you that he's definitely not. I still don't know what's wrong with Charlie, but I'm planning on googling it to see if anyone out there has any ideas that make sense.

This is a really fascinating book with a lot of rich characters detailing a lot of the situations teenagers get themselves involved in as they go through their high school years. It is one of those books you will think about for a long time after you've read it.

There were parts where I laughed and parts where I felt really bad. It stirred up a lot of emotion and a lot of thought, which is the kind of book you don't see enough of out there.

Book Review: An Offer You Can't Refuse by Jill Mansell

An Offer You Can't Refuse
***

In this book by Jill Mansell, the main character, Lola, is madly in love with her high school boyfriend, Dougie, and ready to plan a future with him. That is until his rich mother offers her a lot of money to get out of her son's life for good, as she's just not the kind of girl the woman wants her son to end up with.

Of course Lola isn't going to take the money, until she finds out that her step-father gambled an ungodly amount of money away and was now being chased by loan sharks. She is forced to take the money to save her step-father and end her relationship with Dougie.

Years later they meet up again. She wants him back and goes through borderline stalker measures to get back into his life. I loved the subplots and the supporting characters in this novel, but I really wasn't crazy about Lola or Dougie. I felt like she was a little pathetic in her attempts to win Dougie back over while he was just a snob about it. There was nothing likable about Dougie, not even at the end of the novel where, I suppose, you are supposed to like him.

I would recommend this read as something fun, but it's the subplots in my opinion that actually carry this book.

Book Review: Don't Want to Miss a Thing by Jill Mansell

Don't Want to Miss a Thing
***

This is the third novel I've read by Jill Mansell, and while it was another cute book of hers, the premise just wasn't one of my favorites. It was a story where the male lead's sister died suddenly, leaving the male lead, who was a wild bachelor, to care for his sister's infant daughter.

A cute story, but I felt like she could have done a lot more to warm it up. Perhaps if the child would have been a little bit older and had more of a part in the story than grabbing hair and saying things like "BRRRRRR" and "GAAAAHHH" the whole time. That part of it got a little old for me.

The story was pretty predictable but an enjoyable read nonetheless. It was something light and fun to read; heartwarming like the rest of her novels. Overall, I still love this author, but this is probably my least favorite of the books I've read of hers so far.

Book Review: Bully - A Fall Away Novel by Penelope Douglas

Bully - A Fall Away Novel
**

This book was probably one that the younger crowd would enjoy more than I did. It was OK, but from the beginning I couldn't buy the fact that this girl would be in love with a guy that was bullying her. I also didn't understand how the two main characters could go from being such great friends to him hating her for no real reason. He hated her so much that he made her high school years miserable. At the same time there was sexually charged energy between them, but it really just wasn't my thing.

It is a well-written book in terms of the author's writing style. The book does have good reviews on the internet so I'm lead to believe a lot of people liked it. I do think that 18-year-old me might have liked this book, but from my point of view where I'm at in my life right now, the characters were immature and the lead male didn't make much sense to me. I didn't find anything appealing about him, especially when it was explained that the reason he was so mean to her all those years was because he was trying to protect her. Protect her from what? The popular crowd of kids that he thought were a bunch of jerks and any guy that wanted to date her. Somehow that is supposed to be heroic. I just didn't get it.

Book Review: Take a Chance on Me by Jill Mansell

Take a Chance on Me
*****

I've already mentioned that I fell in love with Jill Mansell's books late last year. I just loved the way she tells her stories and how her books involve so many different people and a lot of different twists that you weren't expecting. All of her books I've read so far carry a similar theme. They are centered around a few main characters and relationships - with lovers, with family and with friends. All in all, they are good light reads.

That being said, this one is my favorite of the three I've read so far. I loved the characters and I especially like it when the main male character sounds like someone I would love to know myself, which was the case in this novel. The ending was one of the sweetest things I have ever read. I do not often go back and read books more than once, but I liked this one so much that I might just do that.

I think Jill Mansell is a really good author and keeps her books interesting. But she does carry the same types of themes in her books which can be viewed as both good and bad. Good because you know what to expect when you pick up one of her books. Bad because if you read too many all in a row, you might get bored of the same kind of book over and over again.

Still, if you are going to check her out, I suggest this book in particular. I don't think you will be disappointed.

Book Review: Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

OUTLIERS

****

I first became interested in this book when my husband bought a book by Malcolm Gladwell called Tipping Point. I mentioned this to a friend and she told me a little bit about Outliers. The book is about what makes the true Outliers in the world (for example, Tiger Woods) outliers. The idea of the book intrigued me, and my friend's recommendation made me think it was worth looking into.

I tried to find an audio copy but it was ridiculously expensive so I canned the whole idea. Then one day I was browsing through books on my online Nook shop and found it for a reasonable price so I purchased it. The first few chapters were kind of interesting, but it seemed like Malcolm Gladwell was Captain Obvious. One of the first points he makes in the book is that if a student is one of the older students in class (depending on how birthdays fall) there are a lot of advantages, to include opportunities with sports. That seemed like a no-brainer but I kept reading anyway and I'm glad I did.

There are many interesting things about this book and many points I had not considered before reading about them. For example, Asians do have a mathematical advantage over us because the naming convention for their numbering system makes more sense than ours. That being the case, they are able to count higher at a younger age and the advantage continues from there.

Gladwell himself is an interesting character. I saw him recently in an interview on 60 Minutes, where he talked a little about why the underdog can actually have an advantage by being the underdog. If the underdog knows he can't beat the favorite by conventional methods, he may work to find an approach to winning that would not have otherwise been thought of, in which case, the advantage actually goes to the underdog.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in a different way of looking at things and being introduced to some new concepts. It's a good non-fiction book from a perspective that you haven't already heard a hundred times before.