Managing Cats and People - What I Learned This Week

Bandit cuddling in a blanket someone made for Jackson.

No matter how much you may want to beat them sometimes, cats generally respond better to positive reinforcement. Bandit looks like a real sweetheart in this picture, but pictures can be deceiving. The problem with Bandit is he's a dominant pet and he's a jealous pet. Often I see him swatting at Bailey's butt when he's passing through but since Bailey doesn't seem to notice it's not a big deal. What is a big deal, apparently, is that Bailey sleeps in our room with us at night, which is where Bandit used to sleep. Apparently it doesn't matter that Bandit could still sleep on the bed with us since Bailey is on the floor. All that matters is Bailey is in there and Bandit wants to be in there, but not if Bailey's going to be in there. His way of letting us know he's not pleased is by peeing or pooping on the hardwood floor downstairs, or both. This is not the first time we've had this issue with Bandit, and I've learned from past experience that the best way to get him to stop is not to yell at him, smack his ass, confine him to the gym, bath him or shave him (although that doesn't stop us from doing those things). Does anyone know what the best way to get a cat to listen to you is? Positive reinforcement. So, what I have to do to get him to stop is take him to his litter box every day when I get home from work, wait until he pees and poops in there, then bring him upstairs and make a big deal over him and give him a treat. I keep doing this for a few days and he will stop. Or at least he did last time when he was mad at us for taking a vacation. Let's hope it works again because Brian is not amused with this and keeps threatening to find him another home.

Managing people is not much different than managing cats. They're aloof. They're disinterested. They often think they are better than they actually are. They want to know what's in it for them without ever caring about what they can do for you. And if they think anyone is stepping on their toes, look out. They may not poop on the floor in protest, but they have their ways of making it known they are not happy. A lot of time being a manager is spent getting the employee to do what you want them to do (taking them to the litter box to shit) and stroking their egos when they do a good job (fussing over them giving them a nice kitty treat). One of the hard parts about management is figuring out what kind of kitty treat each person likes. Each one is different and none of them are as easy to figure out as I thought. Working with people is so different as a manager than it is as a co-worker.

The month of March owes us nothing. I used to think of it as a month of hope. Next year, if I haven't moved somewhere warmer yet, I will remember that it's a month of transition, and I should just expect it to suck only slightly less than February did. It's nice that the daylight hours are longer. And that's all.

Quality people will tolerate a rant once in a while. This week's FB rant was PMS-induced. But apparently my friends didn't mind. Which brings me to my next point...

Keep quality people in your life and weed out the rest. You deal with a-holes at work because they pay you to. You deal with a-holes on the road because you don't have a choice. Same with public places like the grocery store. You're dealing with a-holes all the time just because you have to. Why would you make them part of your leisure time where you get to choose who you spend time with? I spent too many years just hoping everyone would like me and putting myself out there to get walked on if someone wanted to. At some point, I realized I have no time for that. I would rather be alone than spend time with people who drain me. I would rather see good friends a few times a year than have lots of shoddy people in my life. The way I see it, I'm a good person and I deserve to have good people around me. If you're reading this, you're one of them.

It's not worth it to get mad about the people you're sharing the roads with. "Wow, that guy really dazzled me with his driving skills today," said no one, ever. Yet every day it seems like someone wants to show you how fast they can drive in undesirable conditions, how loud they can rev their engines, how quickly they can cut someone off only to slam on their brakes, the list goes on and on and on. You can let it get you mad and stress yourself out by tailgating the offending driver, gesturing to the driver, or whatever, or you can just sit back and enjoy the music in your car, take in the sky and whatever beauty is around you and enjoy your commute. Other drivers are always going to be idiots. There is nothing you can do to change it. You may as well focus your energy on something positive.

Do what makes you happy. Doing things to make other people happy will never make you happy. Figure out what you really want and do it. Yes, you are worth it. Don't believe that voice in your head that tells you anything different.

How does a story begin? One page at a time.

Thinking about the new scenario for the next book in the Jessica Summer series as I'm finishing up the paranormal book. I have the backdrop, the characters, a vague idea of what's going to happen and nothing more. 

Often I start by writing out a page or two that will be in the middle of the book if it doesn't get cut altogether. The starting page or two helps me to get to know the characters a little better and how they interact with one another. From there, I sketch out a beginning, a middle and an ending, adding and deleting characters and scenes as I go.

You will probably not see the finished product for about a year. But here's the start. I thought it would be fun to take you along on this journey.

I wasn’t expecting to see him here. Him being here means that he was thinking about me. Him being here means that he was interested in my success. Him being here means that he cares.

I’m not sure I want him to care. As far as I know, I can’t handle Joe Costa caring about me. It would change everything.

He offers me a half grin, his eyes fixed on me, hand hanging on the front pocket of his jeans.

“Hey.”

I lift my chin ever so slightly. “Hey.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I was just in the neighborhood…”

“Right.” Everything about this moment feels awkward.

“I thought maybe you could use a hand.” He glances around. “But it looks like you have everything under control.”

“I think so.”

“Place looks good.”

“Thank you.”

“Logan coming by tonight?”

“Not tonight. He’s out with his friends, so…”

Joe nods. And then I get the look. You know that look you get right before someone is about to pull you into his arms and…. I wait, daring to look into his eyes, my breath stilled.

“So I guess I should go.”

“Unless you want to stay.” I shuffle my feet, my hands in my back pockets. “I mean, for coffee or something.”

“I could stay. But not for coffee.”

Backing up, I gesture toward my living area and Joe steps further into my apartment. Joe Costa in my apartment, sitting on my couch in my living room.

I stand at a distance, unsure of myself. “If not coffee, then…”

“I don’t like you being with Logan. The guy’s a jerk and he doesn’t deserve you.”

I shrug. “What would you suggest I do?”

“Get rid of him. Go solo for a little while. Find someone better.”

“Someone like you?” I am hard-pressed to stop my temper. “Someone who throws me a bone every once in a while but isn’t really interested in me? Someone who will talk the talk from here to eternity and back but never act on anything? Someone who can’t commit to an evening let alone the thought of any kind of a relationship…”

“I should leave.” He stands to leave, taking a few steps toward the door.

“Of course you should. You should leave and I should end it with Logan for no apparent reason.”

He stops in his tracks, whirling around. There is something in his eyes. Anger. Determination. Frustration. I can’t decide what it is before he grabs my wrists, pushing me against the wall. Without a word, he crushes his lips against mine. His hands are on my waist, his body hovering before mine.

Even as he pulls away, I want more. His eyes are searching just for a moment before I close the gap, my lips touching his, my body now against the length of him. He is solid. Hard and muscular. Strong. Agonizing.

“Lauren, stop,” he murmurs against my lips. “Stop.”

I look up at him, my eyes wide.

“I shouldn’t have come here.” He backs away from me further. “Bad decision. I’m sorry.”

“Why do you do things like this, Joe? Show up at my place and tell me that I should end it with Logan? Kiss me and then leave?”

“You want me to stay and do what? You want me to kiss you again? Here’s the problem with that. If I kiss you again, I’m going to want more. And if I get what I want if I kiss you again, things are going to be really awkward between us.”

I consider this for a moment, but probably not long enough. “If you spent the night here, Joe…”

He puts up a hand. “I’m not going to. I’m not going to do anything other than apologize and leave.”

“You are the most frustrating person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Sorry doesn’t make it any better.”

“Maybe not. The fact that you don’t want to accept my apology doesn’t make me any less sorry.” He thinks for a moment. “OK. Maybe not sorry. I can’t say I’m sorry that I kissed you. I am sorry because kissing you was selfish and disrespectful. I’m going to leave. Have a good night, Lauren.”

He walks toward the door, murmuring another apology as he grabs the handle and lets himself out. My life with Joe Costa just got a little more complicated.