Sometimes dreaded. Sometimes exciting. Sometimes tearful. Sometimes
casual. But when they are said sincerely, they are the most powerful words a
person can speak.
No, I’m not talking about the words “you’re not fat” although I will
say those words can be pretty powerful. I’m talking about the best words you
can hear when you tuck your kids into bed or lie down to fall asleep next to
your spouse: “I love you.” Three words that can begin the healing of a broken
heart or help someone sleep peacefully at night. Words that can dry a toddler’s
tears or kiss away a boo-boo. Words that can give a person confidence in the
face of an uncertain situation. Words that can heal. Sometimes the only words
that need to be said to a loved one who grieves. A gift from God and something
that should be spoken as often as you can.
Over the past year or so, I’ve thought about those words more than I
have perhaps in my entire life. In general, I guess it’s normal to not really
think about love other than to know that there are people in your life that you
love and those that you would rather do without. This post is about the people
in the former category.
This is not a George Bailey isn’t-life-spectacular kind of post,
although I kind of wish it were. This is actually a post about what’s happened
since I decided to start telling people that I love that I love them. Not in an
awkward way that makes it uncomfortable for anyone. Not as the weirdo who tells
their next-door neighbors or co-workers that she loves them. I’m talking about
family and best friends, people who should already know this, but perhaps whom
I haven’t told often enough or even at all.
You see, I realized that someday will be the last day I will able to
say it, so I may as well say it now. It would be nice if I could say that when
I started saying it or messaging it to people at the end of a text conversation
or an email, they expressed the same in return and then start using those same
words more freely with other people that they love if they haven’t been doing
that already. But what I found was rather the opposite. People either said or
messaged it back in a very off-handed way or they didn’t say it back at all.
For real. This is what happened.
I remember hugging members of my own family this past Christmas and
saying I love you to them. In return, crickets. Did it bother me? Of course it
did. But I never voiced that because it’s not up to me to force someone to
express love back to me, and I’ll never do that.
I’ve thought about what the issue is about these three little words
ever since I noticed that people don’t seem to speak them very freely. I don’t
know why that is. Is it the society that we live in today? Do people feel weird
telling someone that they love them? Or do they not feel that they love them at
all so they don’t want to say it? Will they regret that decision if they never
see that person again? Will they even remember that they never told them that
they loved them? Are those words reserved for just the core members of their
families: spouse and children?
Yesterday I texted my husband while I was walking back from grabbing
something to eat in the caf. I simply wrote: “I love you.” A few moments later,
he wrote back, “I love you, too.” I smiled. And then I texted him back: “You’re
one of the only people who says it back.”
My point is not to try to make people feel bad but to make people
think. I went a long time myself not really wanting to say it. And it’s a
little hurtful when people don’t say it back. But I suppose I can’t let that
stop me from telling the people that I love that I love them.
Love to you all.
-Kelly
