Love the Ones You're With (What I Learned This Week)

The unexpected death of a co-worker this past week brought about a lot of emotions and reflection about the things that are good, bad and indifferent about life. From the time I heard of his death up until now, there were so many things I thought about and observed as everyone processed the news. Here is what I learned:

• Your last encounter with that person doesn't define who you were to that person. Granted, I was not best friends with this particular co-worker, but it didn't stop me from feeling bad about the last encounter I had with him a few days before his death. I was in a hurry to get to my car and start my long weekend and I saw Mark on the sidewalk coming back from servicing a computer at a nearby doctor's office. He seemed to want to talk for what I thought was way too long but really only amounted to maybe a minute. I rushed the conversation along and wrapped it up so I could get home and forget about work and enjoy the vacation days I had taken to enjoy my birthday. When I heard of his death upon my return to work on Monday, at some point during the day I mentioned to another co-worker that I felt bad about my last encounter with Mark. My co-worker said, "He knew you were a good person. And you knew he was a good person. Not stopping to talk for too long when you're on your way home doesn't change that." Immediately I felt better because I knew he was right. It seems like when someone dies, we all think back to the last time we saw that person and judge the entire relationship on that last encounter. If you knew it was going to be the last time you saw that person, of course you would have acted a little differently. And that's OK. When you think about the relationship you had with someone who passes on suddenly, you should think of the entire relationship and not give more weight to the last encounter than to the entire relationship. Was your relationship with that person generally good? Did that person know you were a good person? Did you know that person was a good person? If the answer to all the questions is yes, then there is nothing to feel bad about.
• Let the people you love know that you love them. Losing a co-worker is a lot different than losing someone you love. When you see a person day in and day out it's human nature to take for granted the fact that you will continue to see them every day for years to come. The problem is that this fact is not really a fact. The reality is that without exception, from the moment we are born into this world, we all have to die. We're all going to die someday. And you should treat the people you care about like you care about them. You should love the people you love and make sure they know you love them. Let go of ego and pride that can create issues in relationships. Love people with your whole heart and appreciate them for what they are, even if they aren't exactly what you want them to be. If you don't do it today, you may regret it tomorrow.
• Find peace within yourself. You can't control what other people are going to think or do. Not everyone is going to like you. Sometimes you are misunderstood and sometimes you run into people who just don't like you for whatever reason. Friendships end. People change. It's nothing personal. Learn not to harbor negative feelings over things like this and instead accept the fact that people aren't always going to act the way you would like them to toward you. Sometimes there is nothing you can do about it. Learn when beyond your scope to fix it and let it be. Find your own peace, wish them well in your heart and move on.
• Stop skipping the good stuff. Make time to do the things you really want to do today. Learn how to dance, even if you're clumsy and have no rhythm. Follow your dreams, even if you don't know where to start. Walk your dog every day, even if she's a hundred years old and it takes her 20 minutes to do a half-block around the neighborhood. Push your cat in a stroller, even if you know everyone is going to make fun of you for it. Smile kindly at every person you encounter, even if they don't smile back. Take another bite of that chocolate cheesecake, even though summer is here and you still want to lose that five extra pounds. Learn how to swing a golf club with your husband, even if you know you're never going to get it right. Enjoy the sunshine. Enjoy the rain. Enjoy life!

Do it today. You never know where there's not going to be a tomorrow.

That, my friends, is what I learned this week.

You're going to learn, Mahoney, that *NOBODY* screws with me!

Guilty or not guilty? I have 0nly 10 days to decide if it's worth the hassle.

Friday afternoon I was pulled over for changing lanes on a bridge in Altoona. Well. Her version of the events is a little different than mine as she claims I "did fail to yield" and cut her off, causing her to slam on her brakes.

First of all, that didn't happen, I don't care what she says. And if she did have to slam on her brakes (she didn't) she was going over the 25 mph speed limit and I don't see why that's turned into a $110 problem for me.

Second of all, get over yourself. I used my judgement just like I do every day when I'm driving. Maybe I was a little closer than I thought. But I was in no way driving aggressively, nor did I intentionally do anything even remotely wrong.

Which brings me to part two of the sordid story. Imagine my confusion when I figured out a couple blocks after she put on her lights and sirens that the unnecessary drama was directed at me. It took me a few blocks to realize this as I was not aware that my lane change was going to be looked upon as a failure to yield by one now very angry female police officer.

By the time I pulled into a local business parking lot a few blocks later, she had convinced herself that I was trying to flee and called for back-up. So at this point, I'm in the car, she's blocking me on one side and she has Sargent Tackleberry blocking me on the other side and standing by the passenger side of my car ready to draw a gun on me.

Really, guys? I was just going to go home, pet my dog and grab a bite to eat.

According to her later explanation after she was done yelling at me and writing a ticket, I narrowly escaped being forcibly pulled from the car for the hot 25-mile-per-hour pursuit I carried her on throughout a few blocks of the city. Which would have been awesome.

But I digress. At this point, I'm trying to decide how to plea. If I say I'm guilty and pay the fine I can just forget about it and not dignify this story by wasting anymore of my time on it. If I say I'm not guilty, I don't think they will listen to my side of the story anyway and I'll still end up paying the fine, so it's a waste of time and a waste of money.

So, I'm taking a poll. Faced with these circumstances, which way would you plead?

So, we adopted this 12-year-old dog...

Meet the new love of our lives, Sammy, who is slowly making me realize that my cats have a long way to go with showing us any kind of love, affection and gratitude for the way we treat them all like royalty.

Sammy came into our lives when we got word via a non-business post at my husband's work that she was going to be put down if no one adopted her by a certain date. After little consideration, we made the decision to give the rescue organization a call and see what was going on with her. It turned out that no one else had called about her, so, long story short, a week ago, she was welcomed into her new home with me, my husband, and our three ragdoll cats.

It was immediately obvious what a kind and gentle soul this dog was. Yes, she was old, and yes, she had issues, the most notable being her obvious weight problem, which in turn contributed to obvious joint and hip problems. But as soon as we saw that sweet little face, there was no turning back.

It's been a heck of a first week with Sammy. About three days into being her new mama, I came home on my lunch break to check on her only to find that she had vomited all over the place. There were no less than 20 piles of vomit like land mines about the living room and dining area of our house. My cats were looking at me with the same disdain I'd become accustomed to since we brought Sammy home. But the main concern was for the dog, and with the advice of friends and a trip to the vet, we had her back on track two days later.

We bathed her the day we got her and took her to the groomers today for an all-out day at the doggie salon. Afterwards we took her out in the truck to look at Christmas lights with us and, honest to God she would perk up and look at the lights every time we would drive close to a house that was all decked out.

In a week she has really taken to both my husband and me. The cats are still a little snobby with her, but cats will be cats.

I know it sounds like a corny line from a cheesy Christmas movie, but I swear this is true. When we got Sammy, I thought we were doing a great thing for this dog by saving her life. But in a week, Sammy has shown me something I've been missing in my life. She's given me a new being to love just by being her. And in return, I will give her the best of whatever I can for as much time as she has left in this life.

Welcome home, Sammy. We love you already!

Thank you, that will be $2, sucka

I work in the IT department of the local hospital. This afternoon I had to go over to one of the nursing stations to look at an application they were running. On my way over, I started to wonder, like a lot of women do at certain points throughout the day, if there was anything embarrassing going on with my appearance since the last time I checked a mirror.

There are a number of things that can happen through the course of day: Make-up can run. Eye lashes can fall out and land on your cheek. One introduction to an outside element and hair can look like nothing you every intended when you left the house that day. So it's a good idea to check every once in a while. As I was crossing the bridge carrying nothing but my iPhone, I started to wonder if there was any way I could check my appearance before arrived on my destination unit.

I was fully aware that I could either (a) use the camera option or (b) stop in a bathroom and look in the mirror. But instead, I searched the apps store for any kind of "mirror" application. I found one for $1.99 that had a five-star rating. Equal parts curious and vain, I entered my husband's password, eager to purchase the mirror application.

Seconds later, it was on my iPhone. I clicked on the app only to find that it worked exactly like the camera, except you could put three stupid looking frames around your face. (OK, one of the three frames was actually kind of cute, but that's NOT the point.) I even got a picture of myself looking annoyed and perplexed as I clicked on a button that took my picture, without knowing it was about to take my picture.

And then I texted my husband:
"I'm a sucks."
"Sucks."
"SUCKA!" (Damn you, autocorrect!)
"I owe you $2 for being stupid. Downloaded a mirror app that works the same as the camera."

"Nice. Didn't you read the reviews?"

"Can we just assume I'm a dumb Donald dodo and move on with our day?"

For the record, there was nothing in my teeth and my hair and make-up looked just fine. I may be $2 poorer, but today I learned to read the reviews along with the rating before you download anything. I suppose it's better that it was a $2 lesson than a $200 lesson.

Smile! You're on your landlord's secret camera!

I read an article today about a landlord hiding in an air vent, spying on tenants and capturing nudity and private acts on his camera.

No, I'm not making this up. The article is here: http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/sleazy-aussie-landlord-caught-hiding-in-air-vent-to-spy-on-naked-tenants-ncxdc-112511

While I think we can all agree that this is a huge violation of privacy and the landlord needs to be prosecuted, there are several other things wrong with this picture (or pictures as the case may be in this particular situation).

Cameras are everywhere. They are mounted at traffic intersections just waiting to catch someone run a yellow light or not stop far enough back at a red light. You may not even know it, but chances are they are hidden throughout your place of employment. Gone are the days of covertly adjusting a piece of underclothing or sticking your finger in your mouth to get a piece of food that's lodged between your teeth. And don't even think no one's watching when you discreetly attempt to correct a wayward wedgie.

If the mounted rolling observation cameras don't get you, don't worry. Someone will come along with a smart phone ready to snap, snap, snap away at anything that looks even remotely interesting and post it on the Internet. An innocent late-night trip to Wal-Mart can land you a spot on "People of Wal-Mart" if you're not careful. Cameras are everywhere, and public humiliation is only a click away. No one is safe.

Given these circumstances, we may as well just throw in the towel on natural human tendencies that we consider to be taboo. Because someone is always watching.

In the case of the landlord hiding in the air vent, his "watching" was clearly wrong. But what about mounted cameras and people snapping pictures on smart phones and posting it to the Internet? Is this type of watching good, bad, or indifferent?

What do you think?

When Trying to be a Good Wife Goes Bad.

Attempt to be a good wife: I planted my own jalapenos this year so I could make my husband dishes featuring fresh cuts his favorite hot pepper. Not only would I be saving money, but everyone knows fresh veggies are better than the ones you buy at the store.

Where it started to go wrong: None of my peppers bloomed until September. In a haste to use as many as I could, I made large portions of chicken and beef dishes with lots of jalapenos in them.

Where it ended up going really wrong: My husband now has a stomach ulcer, and the doctor has advised him against spicy foods.

Luckily, he appreciates where I was going with the original thought. Next year I will need to plant only one jalapeno plant. :)